Meditations
Some of us say, "My disease is talking to me." Others say, "My head won't turn off." Still others refer to "the committee in my mind" or "the monkey on my back." Let's face it. We suffer from an incurable malady that continues to affect us, even in recovery. Our disease gives us warped information about what's going on in our lives. It tells us not to look at ourselves because what we'll see is too scary. Sometimes it tells us we're not responsible for ourselves and our actions; other times, it tells us that everything wrong with the world is our fault. Our disease tricks us into trusting it.
The NA program provides us with many voices that counter our addiction, voices we can trust. We can call our sponsor for a reality check. We can listen to the voice of an addict trying to get clean. The ultimate solution is to work the steps and draw on the strength of a Higher Power. That will get us through those times when "our disease is talking."
We encounter different points of view in recovery and NA service. We may all be on the same path, working toward a common goal, but we're ultimately in different places along that road. For example, some of us take years to get through the Steps, while others work one Step per month. Some groups vote and others make decisions by consensus. Guided by our mentors, we take up an approach that works. It's only natural to believe that we're going about things the right way. From there, it's a short leap to believing that ours is the only right way, and that's a slippery slope to self-righteousness.
Accepting that members hold various perspectives and apply the tools of the program differently helps us understand the difference between unity and uniformity. There is, after all, more than one way to eat an apple. We learn to choose our battles and let go of our need to be right all the time. A wise sponsor once said, "Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?"
Knowing when to stand firm and when to bend is a sign of maturity in recovery. We learn to trust the process, and this takes away the burden of having to be right all the time. We come to rely on the good or God we find in NA. We bring unity to our groups and our relationships by allowing others--and ourselves--to be wrong, steering clear of self-righteousness, and holding firm to our beliefs.