Meditations
Over and over, we have tried to live up to the expectations of those around us. We may have been raised believing that we were okay if we earned good grades in school, cleaned our rooms, or dressed a certain way. Always wanting to belong and be loved, many of us spent a lot of time trying to fit in--yet we never quite seemed to measure up.
Now, in recovery, we are accepted as we are. Our real value to others is in being ourselves. As we work the steps, we learn to accept ourselves just as we are. Once this happens, we gain the freedom to become who we want to be.
We each have many good qualities we can share with others. Our experiences, honestly shared, help others find the level of identification they need to begin their recovery. We discover that we all have special gifts to offer those around us.
Before coming to NA, many of us had little experience with fitting in. We felt like extraterrestrial visitors and rarely believed that we belonged. We had a creeping feeling that we were imposters and lived in fear of others finding out that we were hiding behind a front.
This sense of loneliness and distrust made early recovery difficult. We wanted what NA members had, but couldn't open up long enough to let anyone in. We had to start somewhere, so we tested the wisdom of the advice we'd heard by joining home groups. Soon, we found ourselves with service positions and sponsors. We began to feel a part of the Fellowship more often than not. Even when our sense of belonging shifts, we find that we're often doing better than we are feeling We remain works in progress.
By participating in our recovery, we learn to participate in life. We start talking to our families; we stick with a job long enough to get to know people and even let them get to know us. Thanks to NA and our experiences in the rooms, many of us have been able to reconcile with our families, serve our communities, and enjoy life. Our lives are transformed; we find fulfillment and purpose as we contribute to unity in all areas of our lives. On most days, we feel whole.